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To all the Dads on Fathers Day

June 19, 2016

father-day-pine-conesI want to extend a heart-felt appreciation to all fathers today. It is a day to acknowledge all your efforts, your trials, your accomplishments and above all, what you have given and continue to give for all of the daughters and sons in the world. What a remarkable gift it is you offer, for here lies so much of the potential of the world in our next generation. You get to nurture small sparks that grow into big sparks and then pass the torch of love and compassion and caring and creativity to the next in line.

Father’s Day may be a difficult day for many fathers. For those fathers who are in relationship struggles, may you find balance and resolution. For those going through divorce, those who are contemplating it, in the midst or transitioning through it, it is a heart – wrenching process. May you find the guidance you need to negotiate this challenging endeavor.

For those fathers who are estranged from your kids, for those who struggle with offering consistent support, for those who are prone to violence, neglect, mistreatment, abuse and strong chaotic emotions, a special acknowledgement of your struggles. May you find healing and support so that you can offer the integrity of behavior that is so very much needed for your kids and you as well.

For all the fathers who are unable to be with their children that they so love and cherish, and must do so at a distance, a special thought goes out to you. You are appreciated and remembered. This means many in the military, and for all of you, thank you for what you contribute and sacrifice for this country. For all the single fathers who are juggling this lifestyle, here is an appreciation for holding it together and in many cases, doing it with little support in your life. May you find the support to keep you strong for yourself and your children and the community you live.

Father’s Day is a time to recognize the qualities so essential in good parenting. To be able to offer compassion, kindness, empathy, attunement, laughter, connection, good boundaries, caring, love and good role modeling and to do it with relative consistency, these are so essential. Should you struggle with this consistency, may you find avenues to strengthen these qualities so you can create the very best in you and in the sons/ daughters and families of your life.

Fathers need support. They need to know they have care and love behind them. Many fathers have this already and what a blessing that you have found this, or have created this and understood how immensely critical this is to living well from day to day. May you fathers who have this in your life, but are unable to fully receive or recognize this, may you find the receptivity that is within your grasp. May you be able to receive the care and appreciation from your partners’ hand when they slip theirs into yours or they wrap their arms around you or acknowledge you in whichever way they do.

Fathers need to be in touch with their emotions. Emotions help guide us, they provide motivation, they inform us about our boundaries and they function as an internal compass. They are at the heart of how we connect with each other and relate. This is so important for our children. Science and research show us that emotional intelligence, in many ways, defines our level of integration in the world. This is the bedrock of our interactions, sometimes our beliefs, our relationships and our future. How we manage our emotional life today helps to create our reality of tomorrow.

The research of mindfulness, the brain and relationships show us that even morality and behavioral traits can be changed and enhanced over time. There are schools in this country that are integrating short periods of mindfulness/ reflection in the day to help increase the neural connectivity in the brain that enhances, among other things, morality. What would our world be like if morality were so strong in this country, that kindness, compassion and empathy were common with all the fathers of the world in our families, communities, our political and economic system? Wow.

So to all the dads out there, in all the corners of this amazingly rich, beautiful and vibrant world, may you be acknowledged. Thank you for being who you are. Thank you for your gifts and here is wishing you a very Happy Father’s Day. You are loved.



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